Saigon Surprises

Hello Friends. Hello Family!
Greetings from ole Ho Chi' City!
Weather's steamy,
Sights are dreamy
But calling it the US war sure sounds so meany!

So, first rant - WHY does everyone here insist on calling the Vietnam Conflict the American War? Are there no history books available in Vietnam? Rude! (Same goes for those of you who discuss the whole 'War of Northern Aggression' thing)

Anyway, I've been in Vietnam for the last few days - well, since I left the Kris Lounge, in fact. (For the record, I have yet to stay anywhere that actually has a clock. Who doesn't have clocks in hotel rooms? Vietnamese, that's who! Add to that the lack of news, etc and I have absolutely no idea what day it is, or if there's anything happening in the world.)

After a few hours wandering around here, I decided Saigon just wasn't my jam. Pardon madam, motorbike? The official sound here is MEEP! MEEP! (Guess what the official question is?) Pardon madam, motorbike? I have never seen so many motor bikes put to so many uses. Pardon madam, motorbike? Carry the family of four, nine cases of beer, etc. Pardon madam, motorbike? Ask a cab driver, tour guide - anyone - whether they have a motor bike and they'll laugh at you. Pardon madam, motorbike? Do you sleep in a bed? Pardon madam, motorbike? Duh! I actually had an old man help me cross the street. Pardon madam, motorbike?

I have a total fascination with motorbikes. There are about five million peeps here in HCMC and three million motorbikes. The Chinese introduced a cheap (<$200) bike that completely changed the face of Vietnam. New traffic lights were developed and installed, lanes redrawn and on and on. Totally fascinating.

Anyway, trying to adjust by seeking hard-core air conditioning and some western local sight-seeing suggestions, I stopped at the Irish pub a few blocks from my hotel. Long and short - the owner was preparing for the 'pain in the ass MBA students' who were coming to visit him the next morning. From where? America. (He couldn't name a region, state, let alone a school. Some guy was at his pub last yr and asked whether he could bring a bunch of his students there to discuss being an expat doing biz in Vietnam.) So, that's the secret of the B-school boondoggle! (It's also a great caveat - never try to chat with a bar owner when he's falling off his stool. Or take business advice from someone who samples so heavily from his merchandise, or spends time talking to someone who isn't! Clearly, he wasn't preparing to talk to my future classmates, right? And PT - surely we can work something out for Shanghai, right?)

Anyway, then it was off to Hanoi to see whether I'd like it better. (Kevin - thanks for pushing to get out of town.) The short answer is yes! Hanoi is fantastic. Getting to the old city was sort of like hitting the French quarter in Shanghai. Much less, well, communist.

Spent two days on a boat touring Ha Long Bay which was terrific. (Gisele - thanks for the tour guide suggestion!) It was lovely hearing the rain on the boat...ahhh..drip...drip... CRAP! this boat is leaking! On my feet! It was raining into my berth, but 'eh, it was time to get up anyway. I tracked down a crew member down (this is a six-berth boat, so really shouldn't have been hard...) After winning the argument that a plastic bag was not the best thing to put under a leaking roof, but perhaps a massive bowl would be more in line, it was off to get breakfast. The poor Aussies in the group ate neither seafood nor pork. Which left them with... bread and some veggies. Even for breakfast. And extra helpings of complaining for the rest of us!

Hanoi Hilton? Worse places to spend your time. Sorry Paris, no go on the sympathy. Gave a shout out to Lenin and the crew. (Waiting to do a proper Commie cheer when I hit Red Square on the 1st and 4th. Waaay before the whole b school thing...natch)

Now, a quick word about something I found in Hanoi, but not yet in Saigon. Kevin, Catherine's friend, sums it up best: "Bia Hoi is a would be Nobel prize invention, fresh beer made and delivered each day by noon to hundreds of corners in the city for lovely price of 15 to 25 cents a pint. and at one percent alcohol, it's essentially your means of hydration and frequent rests." As that obnoxious-looking westerner who was walking around everywhere w/ a backpack and 1.5l of water, I could appreciate the need to hydrate. (No, Dave, no Camelback or Drams.) Picture being the only westerner at the Hawk n Dove, Fox n Hounds, or what have you and fresh beer being poured into actual glass glasses. For less than a cup of coffee or water! (Take THAT Sally Struthers!) And waaaay less than the buck-o-five freedom sets ya back. We live in a truly amazing world. Came back to Saigon and actually liked it a bit more. All the power went off, so I figured the nicer the hotel, the stronger the generator, right? The Sheraton's failed, so I went over to the Park Hyatt. then theirs failed! Their generator was fine -lots of flickering lights - but the staff was rude (um, hi - I'm hot and sweaty which is why my Viet dongs and I came to sit in your lovely hotel. I've also got my credit card which claims to be everywhere I want to be, but I'd really like to be left alone to be a nerdy tourist.)

Anyway, I finally went to the tapas place across the street. Long/ short- talked to the owner. I got an earful about the ridiculousness that is the wild west of HCMC. Too many Black AmExes, hookers and jerks. Next to me, there was a sign welcoming Americans to a party. I asked about it. Owner didn't care. (Hey - they paid for 40 people. I don't care who bloody shows up and my staff sure doesn't either. Rather thin showing they've got anyway.) So, I went. I mean, my country! My taxes! Ergo my reception? Now there's a guy I'd take biz advice from. Stopping by there was much funnier than having tea at some stodgy hotel anyway. Nothing to report - boring people pontificating, surrounded by fawning staffers.

And on that note, it was off to the Mekong for two days. (oh - but first I went to check out the Rex Hotel's rooftop terrace. I've been here twice and have yet to make it up to the roof b/c en rte, I discovered they have banks of computers w free internets!) Anyway, the Mekong: the water's dirty, the fruits are delicious and the floating markets are pretty cool.

Now I'm back in Saigon, a city which has actually grown on me. And it's not b/c I changed from the $26/ night to $8/ night hotel or vice versa. If you're in town, check out Miss Loi's hotel. (OK, the air con leaves a bit to be desired and there's no free internets, but it's cheap - you can buy water and have laundry done for about as inexpensively as you'll find anywhere. On the other hand, there are loads of hotels and hostels in the area, so be picky!) For the record, there's really not much difference between a $26 and $8 place . Well, there is, but you'll have to check that out for yourself. Both are perfectly fine, have free breakfast and solid locations. Aha! But guess which means gifts for all?

I've got 1.5 more days here before I head to Turkey. So, it'll be off to the Cu Chi tunnels (something that actually involved balancing the cool v creepy factor) tomorrow and some pagoda/ temple/ church things. (Mom - I have yet to see a tea towel!)

In sum, as I sat on the stoop eating watermelon, staring at my disgustingly dirty feet, I couldn't help but think of two things: (Damn! I can't believe I missed the Farm Party! Hmm -I have sooo gotten my money's-worth out of this year's martini flip flops. Wait - is there really more than one person out there who can't fan his toes? Wait - those were warm-up thoughts.) I hate the weather here, and if given the choice would probably pick Canada over Vietnam just about every time, BUT everyone was definitely right about just hanging out and enjoying Vietnam rather than trying to jet off to too many places. So, looks like I'm staying in these borders and I'm going to be heading back to this region some day. And I know just the school to pay for it! Hmm.